Sarvam Duhkam – ‘All is Frustration’:

How to Build Greater Stress Resilience

Not surprisingly, stress levels in the U.S. are at an all-time high, with nearly 40% of adults reporting "peak stress." Financial fears, global instability, and the current political climate are creating a difficult dynamic for many (perhaps an understatement). This doesn’t even factor in personal struggles unrelated to external events.

According to former Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy, we are also in the midst of a “loneliness epidemic. “ After traveling the country and speaking with countless individuals who described feeling "isolated, invisible, and insignificant," he published a manifesto on rebuilding personal and community connection. He noted that “the mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.”

Now for the good news— if you are one of the many who are stressed and overwhelmed, perhaps this is an incredible opportunity to tend to yourself in ways you never have before. If you haven’t already, getting acquainted with your nervous system is a worthy exploration. While we have little control over external circumstances, we can learn to regulate our internal states. This can be a profound source of freedom and liberation.

“All the powers in the universe are already ours. It is we who have put our hands before our eyes and cry that it is dark.”— Swami Vivekananda, Practical Vedanta (1886)

I’m very sensitive to spiritual bypassing, so this isn’t to say that real hardship doesn’t exist or that simply stepping into a spiritual mindset will make everything magically disappear. Rather, it’s about reclaiming our power through nervous system regulation. This doesn't mean life becomes easy or comfortable or will always be to our liking, but we can expand our ability to sit with discomfort and uncertainty.

A good starting point is to prioritize yourself. Put yourself first. What do you need? What will serve you best? Does falling into reaction, blame, and frustration help you, or does it deplete you? Tending to your own needs is not selfish—it is foundational. It immediately shifts you out of defensive mode. It is okay to help yourself first.

In my last post, I talked about "Titiksha" or spiritual fortitude. My favorite Hindu monk, Swami Sarvapriyananda of the Vedanta Society of New York, translates it as "putting up with all sorts of problems." I thought this was funny, but it’s also true. Life presents endless frustrations—Sarvam Duhkam—a truth recognized thousands of years ago. But we do have a choice: we can navigate life’s challenges with grace, equanimity, and resilience, or we can resist them with misery, delusion, and anger. That choice impacts us first and foremost, and ultimately, it also influences those around us.

If I keep my hand on a hot stove out of resistance, the only hand that’s burning is mine.

“The reality of this situation is that there is no way to remove myself from the threat. It is going to be ongoing. The goal, then, is to manage my entirely appropriate physiological responses in a way that allows me to remain engaged, aware, and ready to fight for what I believe is right.”— Sarah Harper

Regulating Tools

Whatever your circumstances, if you’re experiencing nervous system fatigue, there are ways to re-regulate and create a bigger "window of tolerance" for stress and discomfort. Here are a few practices to explore. These are not my original ideas but come from yoga, Hindu philosophy, and frameworks like the Community Resilience Model.

1. Get Acquainted with Sensation

The inviation here is to become more familiar with positive and neutral sensations in your body—and practice sitting with uncomfortable ones, even for just a minute at a time. This helps you recognize that all sensations are fleeting and impermanent. Physiological symptoms often accompanying difficult emotions—like tension, tightness, or tingling—are not signs that something is wrong with you. The smaller our tolerance for bodily sensations (often impacted by trauma), the more we may panic, numb, or dissociate when we feel them. Learning to acknowledge uncomfortable sensations allows them to dissipate naturally. This is a practice.

Yoga poses like Child’s Pose, Legs Up the Wall, and movement practices like “Sun Breaths” can be useful for developing a safe relationship with bodily sensation.

2. Pick a Resource

This concept, drawn from the Community Resilience Model, involves identifying a person, place, animal, or even an idea that brings you a sense of peace. Think of something that brings you joy. When you call it to mind, notice what sensations arise in your body. Memorize that feeling and anchor yourself to it. You can return to this resource whenever distress, worry, or fear creeps in, using it as a touchstone for calm and ease.

3. Notice Your Breath

Throughout the day, observe your breathing. When you’re driving, watching TV, or feeling angry or frustrated, how are you breathing? Do you breathe through your nose or mouth? Where do you feel your breath? Simply noticing your breath shifts you from judgment to observation. Once you develop this awareness, you can begin to shape your breath to support your nervous system. A simple starting point is focusing on a subtle, lengthened exhale and fully relaxing your diaphragm.

4. Orient Around Your Sacredness

You are not insignificant, invisible, or broken. You are part of the universal whole—or the universal itself.

“I am consciousness, I am bliss, I am Shiva.” (Chidananda Roopah Shivoham)— Nirvana Shatakam by Adi Shankara (8th century)

This Sanskrit chant from Advaita Vedanta reminds us that our true self is infinite and blissful by nature. You can substitute "Shiva" with whatever resonates—God, nature, the universe. The key is to begin separating your true self from your thoughts, body, and worldly frustrations. I know this might sound a little woo-woo or even silly—believe me. But if we can move past our initial skepticism, there's a real possibility of experiencing this, not just as a philosophical concept but as something embodied and felt. Over time, this perspective can become a powerful inner resource (as in #2).

5. “Again and Again” or Present Moment Awareness (Muhu-Muhu)

Muhu-Muhu means "moment to moment" or "again and again." This work is never truly complete. While nervous system regulation improves with practice, it’s not a one-and-done process. We must continually tend to our inner balance - and taking time to focus on the present moment right in front of you is a way to help settle overwhelm.

There are countless tools available, and not every technique will work for everyone. If one approach doesn’t resonate, try another. Cultivate curiosity. You are not a broken project in need of fixing. The nervous system is designed to protect you. What you are feeling, others are feeling too. You are not alone. Approaching this process with openness and mindful self-compassion—knowing that you can begin again and again—is, in itself, calming to the nervous system.

Final Thoughts

Life is filled with stress, uncertainty, and discomfort—it always has been. But we can expand our capacity to meet these challenges with greater ease. Through practices like sensation awareness, breath observation, and reconnecting with our inherent sacredness, we reclaim our inner stability. This isn’t about avoiding difficulty but about building resilience so that we are less overwhelmed by it. We create more space for clarity, strength, and connection by tending to ourselves with care and consistency. Muhu-Muhu—again and again, we return to the practice of being present with what is.