Learning to Hold Space for Yourself
A practice for when you’re tired of trying to change everything
“Holding space creates more healing than forcing change ever will.”
— Trauma & Somatics
I came across this quote on Instagram, and it made me pause. It just made sense.
At first glance, it might seem to be about the importance of holding space for others, something we often talk about in healing work. This is powerful and important.
However, what struck me was how we’re rarely taught—or even encouraged—to make space for ourselves. I decided to explore that idea.
What if much of our suffering comes from not knowing how to hold space for our own experiences? Not just the hard ones—like grief, anger, or anxiety—but even the good ones: joy, peace, contentment.
We tend to push away complex sensations and emotions, disconnecting from our bodies in the process. We chase the next shiny solution, the next modality, or the next self-help trick, hoping it’ll fix everything once and for all. I’m guilty of this as well—modality or “quick fix” shopping.
Even when things are going well, there’s often a subtle (or not-so-subtle) fear: Is this too good to last? When will the next proverbial shoe drop?
How much time do we spend distracting, numbing, overanalyzing, or trying to get away from ourselves? (Sigh).
Even meditation—a practice meant to support presence—can become yet another way we try to push through discomfort to reach some imagined ideal. Many people believe you're not supposed to think during meditation (which isn’t true), and that misunderstanding often turns into another “I’m just not doing it right” dynamic.
But what if the key to healing isn’t achieving a particular state or fixing what's "wrong" but rather learning to hold space for ourselves—gently, consistently, and with compassion?
What It Might Mean to Hold Space for Yourself:
Accepting a few things upfront: Healing isn’t linear. There are ups and downs, spirals and pauses. There’s no final destination—yes, frustrating, but maybe it’s okay.
Being with difficult emotions and sensations: Holding space for emotions and sensations without labeling them as bad or wrong. Most of us were never taught how to do this, but it can be learned and is key to reconnecting to the body.
Disentangling your capital-S Self from your thoughts: You are not your inner commentary. You are the one who is aware of it. This is often shocking to hear, but a real game changer. It takes time and inquiry to unlearn.
Turning inward as refuge, not punishment: Your inner bodily experience can become a place of rest, not something to fear or escape from.
On the flip side of embodiment, softening identification with the body: It doesn’t mean abandoning it, but remembering that you are not only this body, with its aches, limitations, and fleeting appearances.
This kind of self-holding isn’t passive or weak. It doesn’t mean you stop growing or healing. It means you stop forcing and start listening. This kind of presence costs nothing. You don’t need a new technique, a different healer, or another modality—just the willingness to stay with yourself, as you are. Even as I type this, I acknowledge how challenging it can be to stop pushing and fixing.
Holding space for yourself is not a one-time act. It’s a practice—and a profound one.
As always, reach out with questions or thoughts!
Peace. ✌️
Hi, I’m Lauren. I’m a yoga therapist specializing in trauma recovery, nervous system regulation, and reconnecting to your deeper self. If you’re looking for gentle, grounded support to help you heal, breathe, and find your way home to yourself, you're in the right place.
Sthira śarīra, prasanna manaḥ, śānta ātmā
Stable body, clear mind, peaceful spirit